www.wittenbergtorch.com

Issue date: 10/5/06 Section: Humor

People are curious by nature. When a name pops up in conversation, an understanding of the situation is intensely desired. We adamantly attempt to figure out what this person has done, and most importantly we try to desperately remember what this person looks like. A name is meaningless without a mental visual. Back in the day there was the "Baby Book," a collection of freshman photos freely facing the Wittenberg community for the very first time. Because it was as outdated as Baird Tipson, next came the cleverly nicknamed StalkerNet. Amazingly, the Wittlink could now be used as a means of learning who that random neighbor of yours was, or who that nervous kid in the back of class is. But mostly it was utilized on the basis of one strict, but simple judging ground: hot or not? Finding Mr. or Mrs. Right was just a click away. For favorable personal results, though, it was imperative to make good on your single shot photo-op early freshman year, because after that pic was taken, you were stuck with the results for four long years. The Student ID, casually lingering in the wallet or purse, has become a daily reminder of that momentous day in the life of your memorable, or not-so memorable mug.

But, low and behold, out of the wondrous world wide web emerged the Facebook. This trendy frenzy has caught on like wildfire, scorching the campus with its interactive ways. You can instantly go from being an isolated nobody to one accumulating hundreds of 'friends.' The notifying e-mails are a little over the top, and especially awkward when you don't recognize the name. Diehard Facebookers love extending an invite of friendship to nearly anyone at anytime so that their 'popularity' continues to go up and up in cyberland. Seeing how many friends from different schools you can attain is pretty cheesy, and please never ever poke someone. The one thing I would like, though, is to see the Facebook clan incorporate a 'rejection' notice anytime someone defiantly doesn't RSVP your impersonal invite. You certainly need to be put back in your place if you get turned down.

The stalking factor, too, has increased tenfold with the capabilities of not only being able to see a pretty face, but also being able to discover personality traits, favorite movies, and current classes. By doing a little online research, you can instantly, and falsely, if you so choose, claim common ground with that oh so lovely perfect stranger. It's safe to say, though, don't get your hopes up too high. Facebook has a way of making the average person look like an airbrushed beauty. Letdowns do occur, but what do you expect if you're a computer nerd...

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