Splitting your time between friends and that special someone?
Nicole Hayes
Issue date: 11/2/06 Section: Columns
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I'm having trouble balancing my friends and my boyfriend. Both of them want to spend time with me and feel I'm spending more time with the other. Any suggestions?
Thanks, Split in Two
So, I've got my first question. The act of balancing friends and a significant other can be tricky at times. But, in order to maintain and promote the growth of any healthy relationship, the individuals must spend time together. Also, guys need time with the guys and girls need time with their girls; it helps keep us sane. Hopefully, your friends and your significant other can understand that it's not only important for you to spend time with them, but also with the other party.
A common suggestion to couples is to schedule a date night or a date time. Often times, we get so busy that it becomes difficult to take time to spend just with our significant other. It would be ideal to pick a night or time and stick to keeping that same time every week. That way you and your significant other always know what day it is. There is no confusion and it can be scheduled around because it is expected every week. Also, it becomes a time that you and your significant other look forward to. That time is then set aside for the two of you to enjoy each other. No homework, no attention given to others, no talking to everyone else on your cell; respect your mate and the time that you have with them. If you are low on cash, try to find something you can do cheap. Take a hike if you are spending an afternoon together; walk around the mall or a little town with shops like Yellow Springs or Troy. Soon, Clifton Mill will have their Christmas lights on display; you can look for free. You can go out to eat for cheap and spend the rest of the time hanging out. The key is to spend time that is focused on that person and building your relationship.
My suggestion is that you set up a similar time or night for your friends, as well. Give them the time that they also deserve and your undivided attention. That may mean even turning off your cell phone. Your significant other can live without you for a couple of hours and you can live without them. Make it clear to both your significant other and your friends that your night with the other party and not to be interrupted. Try to be faithful to your nights out. Try not to cancel, especially on your girls.
I believe that if you make it clear to both parties involved that you've set specific time aside for each of them, they may start hassling you less for your time. They will hopefully feel that you respect your relationships with them and you are displaying that by making time for them in your schedule. They deserve to not have to share you with the other. Hopefully, this helps solve your dilemma and makes all parties involved happy.
Once again, if you are seeking relationship advice from an unbiased party or you just have a relationship question, email me at ce.nhayes@wittenberg.edu.
Thanks, Split in Two
So, I've got my first question. The act of balancing friends and a significant other can be tricky at times. But, in order to maintain and promote the growth of any healthy relationship, the individuals must spend time together. Also, guys need time with the guys and girls need time with their girls; it helps keep us sane. Hopefully, your friends and your significant other can understand that it's not only important for you to spend time with them, but also with the other party.
A common suggestion to couples is to schedule a date night or a date time. Often times, we get so busy that it becomes difficult to take time to spend just with our significant other. It would be ideal to pick a night or time and stick to keeping that same time every week. That way you and your significant other always know what day it is. There is no confusion and it can be scheduled around because it is expected every week. Also, it becomes a time that you and your significant other look forward to. That time is then set aside for the two of you to enjoy each other. No homework, no attention given to others, no talking to everyone else on your cell; respect your mate and the time that you have with them. If you are low on cash, try to find something you can do cheap. Take a hike if you are spending an afternoon together; walk around the mall or a little town with shops like Yellow Springs or Troy. Soon, Clifton Mill will have their Christmas lights on display; you can look for free. You can go out to eat for cheap and spend the rest of the time hanging out. The key is to spend time that is focused on that person and building your relationship.
My suggestion is that you set up a similar time or night for your friends, as well. Give them the time that they also deserve and your undivided attention. That may mean even turning off your cell phone. Your significant other can live without you for a couple of hours and you can live without them. Make it clear to both your significant other and your friends that your night with the other party and not to be interrupted. Try to be faithful to your nights out. Try not to cancel, especially on your girls.
I believe that if you make it clear to both parties involved that you've set specific time aside for each of them, they may start hassling you less for your time. They will hopefully feel that you respect your relationships with them and you are displaying that by making time for them in your schedule. They deserve to not have to share you with the other. Hopefully, this helps solve your dilemma and makes all parties involved happy.
Once again, if you are seeking relationship advice from an unbiased party or you just have a relationship question, email me at ce.nhayes@wittenberg.edu.
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