Fear not! Thy toilet is clean!
Megan Poling
Issue date: 1/25/07 Section: Columns
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As I groggily walked to the bathroom at 7:00AM, I failed to notice a couple of yellow-colored liquid dribbles sprinkled about the white plastic seat cover. As I proceeded to sit down, I immediately regretted my decision to pick this stall or regretted this 8:00AM class that forces me to wake up at ungodly hours, which in turn, causes me to make unwise decision in the early morning. Whatever the scenario for my lack of judgment regarding toilets, I was pissed at the piss covering the seat and covering me. While in a slightly irritated state, I took a moment to reflect on why I hadn't wiped the seat or moved to another stall. But after realizing that my situation could not be salvaged, I began to wonder how unsanitary toilets actually were and if I needed another shower.
It is a common fact that people, especially women, will go to extremes in attempt to sanitize public toilets. But it seems that people perform certain sanitizing rituals only to convince themselves that they are protected against germs. For example, a very common technique amongst women is a method coined "hovering." Hovering is used to avoid riding or even touching the porcelain god. Others will employ the "nesting" technique, which involves wadding up massive amounts of toilet paper and placing it in the water to avoid "splashback." Moreover, some people will go through the trouble of tearing individual sheets of toilet paper and then strategically placing them on the seat as a sort of a paper safeguard. And, as I have personally witnessed, some people will bring their own sanitizers and wipe the seat before performing. And, of course, there are those who well, don't give a crap and just sit down. But whatever method you prefer the real question is, are any of these more sanitary than the other? Being the convenient-crazed, public toilet hater American that I am, I did some research to make a prudent decision regarding the best toilet techniques.
Studies show that the dirtiest place in a bathroom is not the toilet, but surprisingly it is the floors. Floors contain the most bacteria than any other area of the restroom. So ladies, if you set your purse down on the ground and then proceed to sit down, you will actually have more bacteria on the bottom of your purse than on your bottom side! Contrary to popular belief, and your mother's incessant warnings, the toilet is actually one of the cleanest areas in a restroom (the handle of a door and the sink are also very cleanly). So in reality, if half of your corned beef fell on the toilet seat and the other half fell onto the floor, you had better lick it right off the steaming seat. Even more astonishing is that it is actually better to eat food off of the toilet then off of your desk.
Thusly, all of you people can do whatever you like to "sanitize" the toilets to satisfy your OCD, but as for me, convenience is my method. But the purpose of this article was not to gross you out, although I may have inadvertently done so, but to show that the toilet is not a dirty enemy. After all, if you spend an average of 3 years of your life on the john you might as well befriend him.
It is a common fact that people, especially women, will go to extremes in attempt to sanitize public toilets. But it seems that people perform certain sanitizing rituals only to convince themselves that they are protected against germs. For example, a very common technique amongst women is a method coined "hovering." Hovering is used to avoid riding or even touching the porcelain god. Others will employ the "nesting" technique, which involves wadding up massive amounts of toilet paper and placing it in the water to avoid "splashback." Moreover, some people will go through the trouble of tearing individual sheets of toilet paper and then strategically placing them on the seat as a sort of a paper safeguard. And, as I have personally witnessed, some people will bring their own sanitizers and wipe the seat before performing. And, of course, there are those who well, don't give a crap and just sit down. But whatever method you prefer the real question is, are any of these more sanitary than the other? Being the convenient-crazed, public toilet hater American that I am, I did some research to make a prudent decision regarding the best toilet techniques.
Studies show that the dirtiest place in a bathroom is not the toilet, but surprisingly it is the floors. Floors contain the most bacteria than any other area of the restroom. So ladies, if you set your purse down on the ground and then proceed to sit down, you will actually have more bacteria on the bottom of your purse than on your bottom side! Contrary to popular belief, and your mother's incessant warnings, the toilet is actually one of the cleanest areas in a restroom (the handle of a door and the sink are also very cleanly). So in reality, if half of your corned beef fell on the toilet seat and the other half fell onto the floor, you had better lick it right off the steaming seat. Even more astonishing is that it is actually better to eat food off of the toilet then off of your desk.
Thusly, all of you people can do whatever you like to "sanitize" the toilets to satisfy your OCD, but as for me, convenience is my method. But the purpose of this article was not to gross you out, although I may have inadvertently done so, but to show that the toilet is not a dirty enemy. After all, if you spend an average of 3 years of your life on the john you might as well befriend him.
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