Brad's Favorite Poops
Brad Snider
Issue date: 2/1/07 Section: Humor
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1. The Berlin'er- When you sit down and carpet bomb the interior of the bowl like it was 1942 all over again.
2. The Ruler- One 12" log cut to lay perfectly horizontal in the bowl.
3. The Eiffel Tower- Starts small, but gradually grows to be the size of you fist.
4. The Funeral- You come in the bathroom knowing you are going to have to say good-bye to something special. When you're there, you shed some tears. And then you leave feeling better, but a little empty inside.
5. Operation Iraqi Freedom- You take a poop and feel empty, but then immediately after you walk out of the bathroom you need to poop again. This repeats until a friend explains to you that you simply need to tell yourself to stop.
6. The Van Halen- It comes out excited, changes shape half way through, and disappears. No flush required.
7. The Tug-of-War- It feels like the harder you push, the harder it pulls. Good luck.
8. The Celebrity- It comes out and you get so excited that all your friends want to see it.
9. Perfection- You sit, you enjoy, you wipe, but nothing is there on the paper. Wow. Perfection.
10. The Humiliator- You finish and feel like a bad person. You may even take a shower to avoid and potential connection with the turd.
2. The Ruler- One 12" log cut to lay perfectly horizontal in the bowl.
3. The Eiffel Tower- Starts small, but gradually grows to be the size of you fist.
4. The Funeral- You come in the bathroom knowing you are going to have to say good-bye to something special. When you're there, you shed some tears. And then you leave feeling better, but a little empty inside.
5. Operation Iraqi Freedom- You take a poop and feel empty, but then immediately after you walk out of the bathroom you need to poop again. This repeats until a friend explains to you that you simply need to tell yourself to stop.
6. The Van Halen- It comes out excited, changes shape half way through, and disappears. No flush required.
7. The Tug-of-War- It feels like the harder you push, the harder it pulls. Good luck.
8. The Celebrity- It comes out and you get so excited that all your friends want to see it.
9. Perfection- You sit, you enjoy, you wipe, but nothing is there on the paper. Wow. Perfection.
10. The Humiliator- You finish and feel like a bad person. You may even take a shower to avoid and potential connection with the turd.
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